This is what I wrote to say for my Father in-law Allen Chansky at his funeral Aug 27, 2010.
When I first met Allen nearly 18 years ago, I was kind of intimidated by him. I'm not going to lie-He was nice, but he seemed big and scary to me. Janice was immediately warm and welcoming, but Allen...was well, Allen....little by little we warmed up to each other.
Still, I was surprised at when at a friend's wedding he asked me to dance. Not just that high school shuffle kind of dancing either... Who knew he was actually light on his toes and a very smooth dancer? I remember thinking back then that if Mark and I ever got married, he would be a good father in-law to have.
In 1995, when Mark was thinking of asking me to marry him, Allen was the one who brought up the possibilty of me converting to Judiasm. It was a bit of an emotional struggle for me at first because my religious upbringing was very sentimental to me. And there was a part of me thought that Allen would never truly accept me if I wasn't Jewish.
Mark and I took months and months of classes where we learned about the religion...and I fell in love with it. I realized that even though I hadn't been born Jewish, I was meant to be Jewish and converted in 1996.
In Allen's final month, we had a lot of discussions and I got to know more about him than I had in the years that I knew him. During one of our conversations he told me that he was glad I converted, but he would have accepted me into the family either way. But in my heart, I have known that all along.
He also wanted me to know that even at his age, I had helped him to change the way he thought about certain things.
Mr. Chansky had a big part in changing lives of the lives many of you who are here today. Particularly his beautiful, kind and loving wife Janice, his "younger" (twin) brother Harvey and his wife Lucie along with their children. Larry Alpert and his family have a life long friendship together... And of course his remarkable sons- Neil and Mark, as well as his daughter in-laws Eta and myself.
He will always be remembered as a kind and loving Papa by his grandchildren Gabriella, Daniel, Drew, Elijah and Chi.
Whether you called him Allen, Big Daddy, The Mister, or Mr. C- I know you all have special memories of him as well and will remember him in your own way.
In closing I would like to share some parts of the song "For Good" ... I found it to be very fitting for today....it's from the Broadway play 'Wicked'- not that I think Allen is wicked or anything, ha ha....it just seemed so fitting....
'I've heard it said people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn.
And we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return.
Now I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I am who I am today- because I knew you.
So let me say before we part- so much of me is what I've learned from you.
You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart.
And now whatever way our stories may end, I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend.
Who can say I have been changed for the better? But because I knew you- I have been changed for good. "
Goodbye Dad. We all love you and you will never be forgotten.
Thank you all for being here today.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
It's been a long time...
Wow! It's been a LONG time since I blogged. That kind of sounds like TMI, huh? Actually I forgot I had created this blog until a friend started a blog about her weight loss journey via gastric bypass surgery.
I definately want to start writing again...I have been so busy the past few years being a full time mom and foster parent. I don't even know where to start with the experiences I have had. It has been quite a roller coaster ride!
It's school vacation week here...all the kids are around so my next blog will have to wait a bit, but I'll be back soon!
I definately want to start writing again...I have been so busy the past few years being a full time mom and foster parent. I don't even know where to start with the experiences I have had. It has been quite a roller coaster ride!
It's school vacation week here...all the kids are around so my next blog will have to wait a bit, but I'll be back soon!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Date night
I swear, it's not that I don't have something interesting to post about on a daily basis, it's just that either I completly forget to write it down or by the end of the day, I'm so tired I have been going to bed until my 10 month old wakes up (every 2-3 hours)
My last entry was something like two weeks ago...
Summer has just started, yet it feels like it's almost over. I have things planned for every week until kindergarten starts.
My husband and I are going to our first (and probably the only one we'll have time to) concert of the year- MARTINA MCBRIDE!!! We saw her when she was just starting out and was the opening act for Garth Brooks. It's funny to think about how long my husband and I have been together when I think of it in terms of the concerts we've seen. When we first saw Martina, it was in '92 and my husband (then boyfriend) was into alternative music and only went with me to see Garth to prove that he was interested in me for more than just sex (that and I told him he wouldn't get laid for a month if he didn't go) I don't think he admitted to any of his friends he went to a country concert. Believe it or not, he became a closeted country fan and officially came out of the country closet on one of Toby Keith's tours.
So here we are, nearly 15 years later having our first date in months.
My last entry was something like two weeks ago...
Summer has just started, yet it feels like it's almost over. I have things planned for every week until kindergarten starts.
My husband and I are going to our first (and probably the only one we'll have time to) concert of the year- MARTINA MCBRIDE!!! We saw her when she was just starting out and was the opening act for Garth Brooks. It's funny to think about how long my husband and I have been together when I think of it in terms of the concerts we've seen. When we first saw Martina, it was in '92 and my husband (then boyfriend) was into alternative music and only went with me to see Garth to prove that he was interested in me for more than just sex (that and I told him he wouldn't get laid for a month if he didn't go) I don't think he admitted to any of his friends he went to a country concert. Believe it or not, he became a closeted country fan and officially came out of the country closet on one of Toby Keith's tours.
So here we are, nearly 15 years later having our first date in months.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Mike Schmid
I have to be honest, I didn't even really know about Blogspot until I followed some links. I was looking for a song I heard a few months ago on a short lived show called, "The Black Donnelly's."
I had no idea what the song was or who sang it, but I fell in love with it instantly. You know when you hear a song, and you can't get it out of your head? I downloaded the episode just to hear the little bit of the song over and over. It didn't hurt that it was playing during a hot sex scene, but anyway....
I would type in key words from the song on iTunes and Google and kept coming up empty. Finally after a month or so, I googled again, and someone else posted on some site that they were looking for the same song I was. Believe it or not, there was someone out there that knew the singer and the song and how to find it. Song- "Forget You" Singer- Mike Schmid
He has a myspace page (I created a simple myspace page about 6 months ago to monitor my nephew online, long story) and I clicked on it the link, and low and behold, there was a music thingy that I could click on to hear the song in it's entirety. I was happy I found it on his site, so I checked out iTunes, and wouldn't you know it, it's the one song that they don't have from him on the site. I really wanted to put it into my iPod. I checked around on the artists myspace page, and wouldn't you know it- it was the one song that wasn't available for downloading. Anyway (yeah I'm rambling so what) I posted a comment directly to the artist asking where I could find it, and he posted back to me letting me know it was available exclusively at broadjam. Woo-Hoo! Even though I was only looking for the one song, I ended up getting more than an album's worth of songs.
He really has some great stuff.
So far depending on what mood I have been in, I have been able to relate to most of his songs (the songs I have downloaded anyway) on a daily basis.
I can't help but giggle when my husband Mark, does some douchie thing that I have nagged him about not doing over and over, and I hear, "I'm a moron, I'm an idiot..." go through my head. The song has literally stopped me from bitching at him. Mark has no idea why I have been giggling for no apparent reason at random times lately.
"Back to You" reminds me that the best things I have in life are because Mark.
"Normal" and "Method Acting" are probably the ones I have been playing the most at the moment.
If you check out Mike's (no, I'm not on a first name basis or anything) myspace page you'll find that he has mastered the art of self promotion and marketing. (I bet he Googles himself) I'm sure he'll be a household name in the not too distant future.
His site was also how I found out about blogspot in the first place. I clicked around on some links on his page and was directed to his blog.
So, if not for him, you wouldn't be reading my blog at all. Because of that, I felt the need to make a whole post just to promote him and his music.
To find out more about Mike Schmid and his music, go to http://www.mikeschmid.com/
You might turn find that you turn into an instant fan of his music. He has a blog, but I don't know how to direct you to that...his entry on Zombie logic is a must read though!
(and no, he has no idea I made a post about him, he's good at self promoting and all, but he didn't resort to this)
I had no idea what the song was or who sang it, but I fell in love with it instantly. You know when you hear a song, and you can't get it out of your head? I downloaded the episode just to hear the little bit of the song over and over. It didn't hurt that it was playing during a hot sex scene, but anyway....
I would type in key words from the song on iTunes and Google and kept coming up empty. Finally after a month or so, I googled again, and someone else posted on some site that they were looking for the same song I was. Believe it or not, there was someone out there that knew the singer and the song and how to find it. Song- "Forget You" Singer- Mike Schmid
He has a myspace page (I created a simple myspace page about 6 months ago to monitor my nephew online, long story) and I clicked on it the link, and low and behold, there was a music thingy that I could click on to hear the song in it's entirety. I was happy I found it on his site, so I checked out iTunes, and wouldn't you know it, it's the one song that they don't have from him on the site. I really wanted to put it into my iPod. I checked around on the artists myspace page, and wouldn't you know it- it was the one song that wasn't available for downloading. Anyway (yeah I'm rambling so what) I posted a comment directly to the artist asking where I could find it, and he posted back to me letting me know it was available exclusively at broadjam. Woo-Hoo! Even though I was only looking for the one song, I ended up getting more than an album's worth of songs.
He really has some great stuff.
So far depending on what mood I have been in, I have been able to relate to most of his songs (the songs I have downloaded anyway) on a daily basis.
I can't help but giggle when my husband Mark, does some douchie thing that I have nagged him about not doing over and over, and I hear, "I'm a moron, I'm an idiot..." go through my head. The song has literally stopped me from bitching at him. Mark has no idea why I have been giggling for no apparent reason at random times lately.
"Back to You" reminds me that the best things I have in life are because Mark.
"Normal" and "Method Acting" are probably the ones I have been playing the most at the moment.
If you check out Mike's (no, I'm not on a first name basis or anything) myspace page you'll find that he has mastered the art of self promotion and marketing. (I bet he Googles himself) I'm sure he'll be a household name in the not too distant future.
His site was also how I found out about blogspot in the first place. I clicked around on some links on his page and was directed to his blog.
So, if not for him, you wouldn't be reading my blog at all. Because of that, I felt the need to make a whole post just to promote him and his music.
To find out more about Mike Schmid and his music, go to http://www.mikeschmid.com/
You might turn find that you turn into an instant fan of his music. He has a blog, but I don't know how to direct you to that...his entry on Zombie logic is a must read though!
(and no, he has no idea I made a post about him, he's good at self promoting and all, but he didn't resort to this)
Down part of the rollercoaster of foster parenting
Yesterday we got a little disheartening news regarding the case of our oldest foster son. We have had him since he was 7 months old and he is now 22 months.
Last month we were told that they (the DSS) weren't going to pursue the distant relative (cousin) and her boyfriend as an adoptive home. The boyfriend didn't pass the CORI. The young woman had something come up on her CORI, but it was waived. Some things that come up, really aren't a 'big deal' per se, so I don't want to judge whatever it was that came up on her background.
But, with that news, we were very hopeful that this would mean that we had a big chance of adopting "E"
Then yesterday we were told that they (the case workers) are going to give her a chance to reapply as a single applicant. I tried to be understanding, but I am so damn frustrated at the system. This will only prolong things no matter what the outcome is. I also don't understand why they would do this in the first place??? Her boyfriend lives in the home. He will be around "E" if they aren't found suitable together to be a permanent home for "E" it's not like they are going to break up and he won't be around anymore. Why start all over? It doesn't change the situation?
"E" is a child who has been in foster care since he was 7 months old. He was with another family for 2 months before he came to us. We have raised him for the past 14 months. We have been through so much together. Here he has a mom and a dad who love him dearly, a big brother, a little brother and a dog that he adores. Yet in the eyes of the 'system', we are not considered his family. To him, we are his only family. To us he is our son.
I understand the biological connection, and we are very open to having visits with his relatives. I want him to grow up with biological family in his life, but there is just no one in his bio family that have proven that he could be safe enough in their home to live with. If that was the case, then he would have been placed with bio family long ago. Forget the fact that we would be devastated if he were to leave here, for any child to be in the system for so long, in a home that is not considered permanent, only to leave can have very sad, preventable long term consequences.
If he is to end up with his cousin, I want to develop a relationship with her now. He needs to get to know her and the people in her home before he goes. It's not fair to take a child out of the only home they know and send them to live with strangers. When we went into foster parenting, we knew that the goal of fostering is to reunite the child with biological family whenever possible, but somehow, this just doesn't seem like the right possible thing to do.
I'm sure next week, there will be a new twist in this case.
Last month we were told that they (the DSS) weren't going to pursue the distant relative (cousin) and her boyfriend as an adoptive home. The boyfriend didn't pass the CORI. The young woman had something come up on her CORI, but it was waived. Some things that come up, really aren't a 'big deal' per se, so I don't want to judge whatever it was that came up on her background.
But, with that news, we were very hopeful that this would mean that we had a big chance of adopting "E"
Then yesterday we were told that they (the case workers) are going to give her a chance to reapply as a single applicant. I tried to be understanding, but I am so damn frustrated at the system. This will only prolong things no matter what the outcome is. I also don't understand why they would do this in the first place??? Her boyfriend lives in the home. He will be around "E" if they aren't found suitable together to be a permanent home for "E" it's not like they are going to break up and he won't be around anymore. Why start all over? It doesn't change the situation?
"E" is a child who has been in foster care since he was 7 months old. He was with another family for 2 months before he came to us. We have raised him for the past 14 months. We have been through so much together. Here he has a mom and a dad who love him dearly, a big brother, a little brother and a dog that he adores. Yet in the eyes of the 'system', we are not considered his family. To him, we are his only family. To us he is our son.
I understand the biological connection, and we are very open to having visits with his relatives. I want him to grow up with biological family in his life, but there is just no one in his bio family that have proven that he could be safe enough in their home to live with. If that was the case, then he would have been placed with bio family long ago. Forget the fact that we would be devastated if he were to leave here, for any child to be in the system for so long, in a home that is not considered permanent, only to leave can have very sad, preventable long term consequences.
If he is to end up with his cousin, I want to develop a relationship with her now. He needs to get to know her and the people in her home before he goes. It's not fair to take a child out of the only home they know and send them to live with strangers. When we went into foster parenting, we knew that the goal of fostering is to reunite the child with biological family whenever possible, but somehow, this just doesn't seem like the right possible thing to do.
I'm sure next week, there will be a new twist in this case.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
My first entry
I have been hearing about online blogs for years now and decided to get on the band wagon. Not that I have a lot of free time at the moment or anything, but there are times when I need to vent or want to keep track of my thoughts.
Crap- one of my kids are crying, gotta go already!
Crap- one of my kids are crying, gotta go already!
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